Musings from doubt

I found chapter 6 of Dane Ortlund's book Gentle and Lowly really helpful when writing this post. 'All those the Father gives me will come to me, and whoever comes to me I will never drive away.' John 6:37. I am maybe stretching the text here, but it feels here that the second part of the sentence is a free pass. Jesus says that 'whoever' comes will never be driven away. No matter what, Jesus has promised and therefore we are allowed to come. No matter what we bring with us, no matter how we feel that we don't bring what we should, he will never drive us away, or in another version, 'no wise cast out' (KJV). I often have a feeling of obligation - I feel that there are things I should be, things I should say, things I should do. I feel a weight of expectation. And I'm quite sure that I can't meet those expectations and obligations.  Sometimes I feel that new Christians have an easy ride - their sins are forgiven, and they are new and clean, ready