Making myself at home with Him

 I  had a friend who was going through a difficult time, and every time we met up, it seemed to be that she would end up crying, and I would end up handing over the tissues.

Sometimes at the end of oour conversation, she would apologise for crying all the time and for being a rubbish friend. I would try and tell her this was ridiculous - that she was my friend, and sometime that's what you do with friends - listen to them cry and hand out tissues. I do not meet with my friend so she can entertain me, that's not what it is about.

I wonder whether that's what I am like with God; I feel that I ought to come and perform for Him, say the right things, all tied up in a neat bow. But maybe He expects me to hang it all out before Him, warts and all - and he doesn't care that I'm a hot mess, He just wants to be with me. 

This tied in to what I heard on Lectio 365 this morning. 

Yes, because God’s your refuge,
    the High God your very own home,
Evil can’t get close to you,
    harm can’t get through the door.

Psalm 91:9, MSG

In the same way, God is not 'my very own home'. At home, I come through the door, throw my coat over the bannisters and kick my shoes into the corner. I put my feet up on the sofa and leave my dirty cups lying around. That's because this is where I live and I can do that if I like. If I go to a friend's house, even if they ask me to 'make myself at home' I don't really treat their house like it was mine - I think it would weird them out if I did! 

But with God, I should be at home with Him, in the way we talk and the way I live with Him. I shouldn't creep in for my quiet time and sit on the edge of my seat, and then hurry away to live my life myself. I should live my life with Him all the time, He should be the place where I live.

Father, I want to You to be 'my very own home'. I want You to be my 'forever home'. Thank you for being willing for me to come in. Please keep asking me to come in, and please be patient as I try to make myself at home.

Look at me. I stand at the door. I knock. If you hear me call and open the door, I’ll come right in and sit down to supper with you.

Revelation3:20, MSG